


Don't

by mrs_squirrel_chester



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Consensual Sex, Drama, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Language, NSFW, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-15 08:45:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8049820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrs_squirrel_chester/pseuds/mrs_squirrel_chester
Summary: After being in a relationship with Bucky, you find out that he killed your parents while being the Winter Soldier.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the GIFs are actually Sam and Ruby [from SPN], but they are what inspired this.

With eyes screwed shut, Bucky snarled, his top lip pulling away from his teeth. “Don’t.”

That one word should have stopped you from reaching out and taking hold of his hand, stopped you from sliding the cool metal under your shirt, stopped you from molding it to your breast and giving it a rough squeeze. It should have stopped you from doing so many things, but it didn’t.

“Why, Buck? You don’t want me now?” You were on your knees between his thick thighs, forehead against his, hot breath mingling with his. “What about what I want?”

He was barely hanging on as it was, what with your mouth almost touching his, your skin hot and flushed, breasts heaving under his touch. “It doesn’t matter.”

Whining pitifully, you dug your nails into the back of his neck, reveling at the sound of him hissing at the sting of pain. “But it does matter. I know you can see… feel how bad I want you.”

His voice was beyond wrecked, “I killed them, Y/N, how-”

“Shhh, baby, I don't care ab-”

His eyes snapped open, sparkling with anger and disbelief. “They were your parents,” he screamed in your face.

Yup. Bucky killed your parents. But that was in 1991, when he was The Winter Soldier, at the command of HYDRA. It wasn’t like he could stop himself. He wasn’t in control. And after being under the influence of the Tessaract, you understood what it was like to not have control over your actions. Your brother had no clue what it was like and unlike Tony, you held no ill will towards Bucky.

“I am the result of Mrs. Stark missing her birth control. Believe me, Buck, they may be my parents, but they were not my mother and father.”

Tony, with all his rebellious behavior and scandalous indiscretions, was the golden child. Not you. You didn’t graduate from high school, you got your GED at the age of 20. Hell, you didn’t even go to an ivy league college that threatened to kick you out. You didn’t invent something that would alter the way people lived. You weren’t anything special, you just happened to be saved by Captain America moments before Loki would have killed you.

When you moved to kiss him, Bucky craned his neck and snarled again. He really needed to stop doing that. “Y/N, don’t.”

Your mouth was on his jaw and neck while you expertly unsnapped your jeans and slid his metal hand inside. The moment his cool metal fingers touched your wet pussy, you sucked on the pulsepoint on his neck. “I don’t want to stop. I want you, Buck. And I know you want me, too.” Your other hand was on his jeans, his half-hard cock growing thicker and longer under your touch.

You could hear the soft whir of the sensors in his arm, telling him how hot and wet you were, how tight your cunt was on his metallic digits, how much pressure he should apply to make you cum all over him. You could feel the shift of the plates on his forearm as you swayed with his hand. His fingers slid deeper with every rock of your hips, and his heart was hammering against his chest. He licked his bottom lip and sucked it between his teeth with a throaty moan.

“C’mon, Bucky,” you panted into his ear. “I want you to fuck me.”

In less time than it would have taken you to blink, Bucky had his hands on your hips and hauled you off the floor. You landed with your legs straddling his, thick thigh muscles twitched against yours and his hips thrusted up as he pulled you down. The kiss was frantic, tongues and teeth smashing together, furiously fighting for dominance and neither of you willing to let the other have it.

Bucky tore at your clothes, grunting angrily when it became brutally apparent that his need to fuck you greatly outweighed the thunderous, dangerous, self-deprecating thoughts running rampant through his mind. His cock was hard and throbbing in your hand, cum-weeping tip crimson and velvet soft, vein on the underside throbbing with every heartbeat, your cum mixing with his as you swept it through your dripping folds.

There was no foreplay this time; no nipple twisting or blowjobs, no easing his cock into your cunt, no time to get used to the generous girth of his cock. It was rough, almost brutally so, the way he slammed his hips up and drove himself home. Your pelvis crashed into his and a sharp sting of pain roared through you; it wasn’t completely unenjoyable. Bucky’s metal hand wrapped around the back of your neck as his hips shot off the couch, bouncing you on his thighs with a resounding sucking wet _slap_. You almost came right there, his cock buried so deep you would swear on a stack of Bibles that it was in your throat.

Bucky was swearing in a strangled shout, a string of _fuckfuckfuck_  and _shitshitshit_  tumbled out before he kissed you. It was a furious and bruising kiss, one you wouldn’t be forgetting anytime soon. Not that you could forget anything about James Buchanan Barnes, but there was something dark and dangerous about this kiss. The edge of desperation that you could taste, feel as it burned into your skin with every heavy drag of his cock, every squeeze of his calloused hand.

Your orgasm rammed into you like a motherfucking tidal wave; sucking the air from your lungs as it pulled you under the surface. With your hands scrambling for purchase, your back arched arduously and every muscle went taut, burning as if seared with lava. With his mouth on your breast, Bucky bit and sucked your salty and soft skin as he came. His hips stuttered as his cock pulsed and deep grunts of your name blew against the deep purple bruise on your breast.

It was all gasping for air and sticky skin as you came down from a high that no drug could ever duplicate. Tangling your hands in his thick hair, you kissed Bucky before resting your face on his chest. You don’t remember falling asleep.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Bucky was gone when you woke. The only trace he had been there were the bruises you now sported accompanied by the sharp and constant throb of overused muscles . That, and the piece of paper taped to the door.

_Y/N-_

_I know you said it didn’t matter what I did, but it matters to me._

_This is the only way. Please don’t try and look for me, you won’t find me._

_I love you._

_Bucky_

The floor shifted under foot, and had you not braced yourself against the door, you would have fallen. It had to be a dream, some cruel joke the universe was playing. You were used to people leaving, it’s what they do, leave. But Bucky?

**_No._ **

**_Not this time._ **

After taking a quick shower, you got dressed and, with your phone in hand, you stormed out the front door. The line rang a handful of times, each sharp trill made your heart hurt. What if he had left you, too?

“Hey, Y/N,” he sounded tired, as if he had just fought a life-changing war.

“I need your help, Steve.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader does what she has to in order to find Bucky.

Tony snarled as the glass decanter you just hurled across the room whizzed by his ear. “Don’t do this, sis.”

The sarcasm was thick on your tongue, “Don’t do what, _bro_? Try and find the man I love?”

Tony’s face twisted in anger. “How can you love that?!”

“His name is Bucky,” you screamed before launching another expensive bottle of whiskey at your brother.

“And he killed our parents!”

How could your brother be so fucking thick? “He had no control.”

“And hell is just a sauna.”

When Tony started to approach, you held out your hand and shook your head. “Don’t, Tony.”

“Did you _really_ think that I would know, let alone tell you, where the murdering bastard is?” Tony’s chest was damn near heaving with the rage flowing through him.

“I expected you to understand.”

Tony scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Understand?! Are you outta your fucking mind, Y/N? He killed our parents! How are you not as pissed off as I am?”

It drove you crazy how Tony failed to see how different your lives were. Despite growing up in the same house, with the same set of parents, your light would never shine as bright as Tony’s. For years you tried to get your parents to see you, but Tony kept their attention. Part of you didn’t really blame Tony, he was just a kid after all, but the other less rational side of you hated your brother for how your parents treated you in comparison.

“How is Bucky different than Bruce?” The question stopped Tony in his tracks.

It took him a moment to answer, “They’re not in the same ballpark!”

“No, they’re really not, Tony.” You scraped a hand over your face and through your hair, screwing your eyes shut to try and keep the tears from falling. It was no use. Tony was never going to help you find Bucky.

Your brother sighed heavily. “Look, Y/N, let’s go and get something to drink, ok? I appear to be fresh out.” He was just trying to lighten the mood, but you’d heard him try countless times before and you were tired of it.

His hand was just about to grab your shoulder when you stepped back, cutting into him with an icy glare. “Don’t, Tony.”

“Don’t, what? Try and stop my little sister from going on a suicide mission? This isn’t some sweeping romance novel, Y/N, Bucky killed our parents. God knows what he’ll do to you. I’m begging you, don’t do this.” It was clear that Tony wasn’t going to help you, so you brushed past, blowing out a surprised breath when he didn’t grab you.

Your hand was on the door knob and your foot was hovering over the threshold when he called out, “You walk out that door, we’re done.”

Swallowing the large lump in your throat, you squared your shoulders. “Goodbye, brother.”

* * *

“Please, Steve,” you begged pitifully. Despite having called him after finding the letter from Bucky, your best friend refused to tell you what happened or where they were.

Steve sighed into the phone. “I can’t, Y/N. H… he made me promise.”

“Goddamn it,” you screamed, punching the wall in frustration. The brick wall buckled as your fist went through it. Ever since coming into contact with the Tessaract, you’d been able to move things, even multiplying the energy in the air to give a punch or kick something a little extra.

Steve was shouting your name, pleading for you to answer, asking if everything was alright, but you couldn’t hear him over the roar of blood in your ears. You hadn’t gotten a complete hold on your powers, but you had been working with Wanda since your powers were damn near identical. Maybe you needed to call her. And not just to help stabilize your powers. You ground out something that resembled a goodbye before disconnecting the call.

The screen was all but a blur as you scrolled through your contacts.

Wanda’s Sokovian accent had always soothed your frayed nerves. This time was no exception. “Y/N, how are you?”

“Hopefully on my way to you. Where are you?” Shaking your sore, yet unbroken hand, you strode over to your motorcycle and straddled it. As fate would have it, she wasn’t that far from you.

* * *

You stayed with Wanda for almost a year, and man, did she work you into the ground. She knew what it was like; practicing for days on end, until you couldn’t see straight, until your muscles ached so bad you wanted to cry, until all you wanted to do was give up and vow to never use your powers again, until finally, one day, everything clicked into place.

Sweat was rolling between your shoulder blades as you focused on not dropping a mangled train caboose on Wanda’s head. The air around it shimmered sapphire blue -you guessed it was from the Tessaract- while Wanda used her red-hued power to hurl various bits of metal debris at you. All of which you were supposed to deflect. While still holding the caboose above your dear friend. Easy, right?

The two of you had been practicing for almost six hours and Wanda showed no signs of slowing down. In fact, she seemed to be enjoying herself. Truth be told, you had enjoyed the last year with your friend. You had gotten to know each other so much better since most of your interactions before had been on various missions.

With a groan of triumph when your wristwatch began beeping, you gave one last thrust of energy and shoved the caboose several hundred yards past Wanda. Your ass hit the ground before the caboose did.

Wanda was at your side with a bottle of water. “You did well, Y/N.”

You chugged the water, not caring about the water that rolled down your neck and chest. You weren’t out of shape by any means, but this was a different kind of work out. “Th- thank you.”

The two of you watched the sun set behind the mountains, enjoying the birdsong and various sounds of nature that surrounded you. The temperature began to drop as soon as the sun was gone and it wasn’t too long before you were shivering and shoving yourself off the ground.

After you had eaten and showered, Wanda was leaning against the kitchen counter and drinking some hot chocolate. “Is this goodbye, my friend?”

“I think it’s time.” As much as you wanted to stay with Wanda, you wanted… needed to find Bucky.

“I can come with. You know what they say, two is better than one.” Wanda smirked as she pushed off the counter and stood in front of you.

Would you need the extra help? Probably. But that didn’t mean you were willing to put the life of your friend at risk. “No. Stay here where you’re safe. Who knows, I might come back looking for refuge.”

She wrapped her arms around you and held you tight. “You will always have a place here, Y/N.”

* * *

With the help of Natasha and Clint, it took only three months before you found where Bucky was. You should have known Steve would have gone running to T’Challa. He was the only one among the now torn apart group that had any kind of connection. He was also the only one not wanted by every known organization. T’Challa had also come to realize that revenge wasn’t worth it any longer. Tony could learn a few things from the King of Wakanda.

Wakanda was disgustingly humid, making it feel like you were swimming on dry land. Thanking God you didn’t live here, you kept going, the thought of finding Bucky being the only thing to spur you on. The journey inland was relatively uneventful, just some of the native animals bursting through the surrounding wilderness to kickstart your heart.

In an instant, the air changed, filled not only with thick humidity, but an electrostatic pulse that danced across your skin, raising the hair on your arms; there was a great power here. Hands spread out before you, you stepped out from the forest and what you saw took your breath away. It was massive and ancient and fucking beautiful. Not wanting to become a target while taking in the scenery, and with every sense hyper aware and tingling, you began to ascend a stone staircase.

As soon as your feet cleared the stairs, a door opened, and out strolled T’Challa. “Y/N, I have been expecting you.” He stood tall and proud, hands clasped behind his back, kindness in his eyes.

You worked to keep the nerves from your voice. “Tell me where he is, your highness.”

With a slight shake of his head, T’Challa began to advance. “I cannot do that.”

“T’Challa, please. Bring me to him or I will do what I have to.” Pulling in a deep breath, sapphire-hued energy began to swirl around your hands.

The King sighed and brought his hands out from behind his back. “Do not do this, Y/N.”

“I have no choice.” You focused on T’Challa and with a heavy grunt, the energy shot out from your hands.


End file.
